Sometimes I do cool things...

So...it's 1am.  I finished my bout of creativity around midnight, but I've been fighting a ferocious battle with this laptop...erg.

Anyway, tonight I decided to throw my routine to the wind and feed my heart and soul with a new art project.  What a way to distract myself from my "anticipatory anxiety" about the busyness of the next month!

I have to say, the credit for this one goes to etsy.com for my daily inspiration.

The pages of an old Elle magazine will not be thrown out.  Yay for recycled art!

I did my best with the pictures...if my sister were here, I could have provided much better photos!

What can I say?  I'm a sucker for circular patterns.  I love this one.  It was totally worth how tired I'll be at work tomorrow.

Wordle.net

I entered one of my blog posts into "Wordle"...I love the design.  Check out their site:  http://www.wordle.net/

Perspective

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of a book, I'll stop and ask myself, "What's the point?"  For whatever reason, I've lost my focus, and forget how the current section fits into the overall purpose of the chapter, and ultimately, the entire book.

Life's like that at times.  Some days, I find myself in the middle of a situtation asking myself, "What's the point?"  Some situations don't make sense when I lose my perspective.  When I forget that my life is but a page - in the book of this era - in God's volumes of history - it's easy to get frustrated and lose my drive for life.

Just like reading a book, when I lose perspective in life, it helps to stop, remind myself of the overarching purpose of this life, and start anew.

I have the best dad in the world.

I honestly don't know if I have enough words to say.  I can't express how grateful I am to have been born the daughter of Marvin Johnson.

You know, God knows exactly what we're going to need.  He knows what we'll go through, and He equips us.  He provides all the strength, resources, and support necessary for us to find joy and abundant life. 

Despite the hardships I faced as a kid, a teenager, and now, as an adult from the loss of my mother, among all the other trials of this life, my dad demonstrated Christ's love through all of it.  My daddy didn't even know Jesus when I was little.  But he knew how to love with real, unconditional love.  Not because of his own ability, but because he was created in the image of my Holy Father in Heaven.

My dad is an incredible man.  He's one of the smartest, and yet, most humble people I know.  He's compassionate, skilled, and inventive.  His life story is extraordinary.  Ask him.  You'll see. 

My dad taught me so many things.  Integrity.  Justice.  A strong work ethic.  Love.  Honesty.  The fadeaway...okay, so I never quite mastered that, but he definitely took time to show me.

My dad constantly told me I was beautiful when I was growing up.  Despite my crooked teeth, crazy hair and eyebrows, and my awkwardness, he would look me in the eye and tell me how precious I was to him.  I knew he meant it. 

One of the most important things that my dad taught me was what kind of man I should marry.  I don't know that we really talked about it much, but he showed me with his life.  I married an incredible man.  My standards were high, because my daddy treated me like gold.

Thank you, Jesus, for my dad.  He's trying to be just like You.  That makes for one amazing father.

Memories

After sorting through a bunch of my birth mom's possessions on Saturday, I came to the conclusion that memories (no matter how delightful or painful) are valuable.  They make our lives rich and remind us how far we've come. They remind us who we are. 

I've come to a place of healing, where I've let Christ into the deepest parts of me.  Memories that were too painful to behold and that darkly overshadowed the pleasantries of my youth, now provide me with a sort of bittersweet thankfulness.  My biological mother and older brother are gone from my life, but not from my heart.  I miss them, but they are part of me.

Facebook?!

I posted a status yesterday that said, "If you need to get in touch with me, my email address is felishajoyce@gmail.com. I probably won't be checking my Facebook anymore."  The instant response was concern (which is kind), but it wasn't my goal to worry anyone.  I've found that my communication skills aren't always stellar.


I decided to stop checking Facebook, and possibly even delete my page, because of a few personal reasons that I don't mind sharing.  Because I'm seeking to find balance in my life, I've reconsidered deleting my page.  I just need to stop checking it so much.

I'm getting ready to pursue my M.A. in Counseling.  It's going to be a lot of work and take a lot of time.  I believe this is God's call for my life, so I need to prioritize.  I have big dreams, but I've been living a pretty mundane existence.  I've come to realize there are things in my life that I could cut out that would give me more time for the things I really care about.  I want to live a radical life for Jesus, and the hours every week that I spend on Facebook are holding me back.  Now, this is not to say that YOU can't live a radical life for Jesus while using Facebook...it's just that I can't do the things I've been doing if I want to live 100% for Him.

Now, let me be even more transparent...Facebook enables me not to be in relationships.  Let me explain.  For the majority of my life, I was a very cautious person who was afraid of relationships.  I lived by fear, rather than by faith.  I know that I was created for relationship, which is one of the reasons Facebook and other forms of social media are so appealing.  I long for social interaction!  What I've found, however, is that Facebook allows me to keep up with the events of people's lives without actually having to invest.  Rather than calling or meeting up with someone to find out how he/she is doing, I can simply Facebook "stalk".  It finally hit me that I don't really deserve to know what's going on with someone if I'm not willing to give of my time.  In a way, for me, it's more like catching up on gossip than actually getting to know the people I care about.  If I spent half the time I use for Facebook with other people, my friendships would deepen.  I want REAL friends.  I want to LOVE people, not just watch them live their lives.

Facebook also enables me to continue living a boring, ordinary life, all the while longing for more.  When I was a kid, I would often watch other kids having fun, but was too afraid or too cautious to join in.  Unfortunately, not much changed over the years.  I find myself reading other people's pages, looking at their pictures, and thinking to myself, "That's awesome!  I wish my life was that interesting.  I wish I was living that adventerously for Christ!"  So the other day, a thought hit me..."Get off Facebook and LIVE!" 

Matthew 5:29 says, "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away..."  In my life today, this translates as, "If your Facebook holds you back from God's plan for your life, stop checking it!"

I know this might seem weird, but I'm very convicted about it.  I don't think Facebook is sinful; I actually think it's a wonderful way to keep in touch with people you care about.  BUT just like anything else in life, too much of a good thing can be bad...

One Happy Health Nut

Hi friends!

I just wanted to give you some encouragement! 

Today, I feel terrible.  That is NOT the encouragement, though haha.  The reason I tell you this is to point out that I am in a wonderful mood despite this virus that makes my head and lungs hurt - glory to God!  I'm learning a lot about what it means to give the control of my life over to God...every bit of the control.  This is quite a journey, and I know I'll never get it all right, but each day, I learn a little more. 

Anyone who spends any amount of time with me will learn that I am a "health nut" and a "germaphobe."  Giving the control of my body and health over to God is not something I ever wanted to do.  What if it means He will let me get cancer, lupus, or some other terrible disease?  What if it means I get all the sicknesses I fight daily to avoid?  What if I never regain my health?  So often, I live my life by the "what ifs?" rather than letting God take care of me.  Maybe I should be asking myself "What if all my efforts are futile?"...Because they are!  When I hold onto the control of this and any other issue, I limit God.  I don't allow Him to give me the stunning health that He can so easily provide.

So this week, I broke down.  I gave up the control.  Each day, I ask Him to provide me the strength I need that day.  My week does not look like it would have had I been in control.  BUT my world has not fallen apart (the fear that drives my control).  My house is messy and our meals haven't been something to write home about, but we still have a warm place to sleep, our stomachs are full, and I'm happy.  Praise the LORD!  He knows what I need - I don't!  Thank You, Jesus, for always providing.

I hope you have a wonderful week and that you allow God to provide the glorious life that He has for you!

Much love,
Felisha